Tantalizing Foreplay Techniques
By Great Sex Coach Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
The knowledgeable lover will seek a variety of foreplay techniques to pleasure his woman with, because they are aware that it's one of the most sure fire ways to captivate their lover and give her the most exquisite pleasure. They're also mindful that foreplay heightens their own satisfaction and deepens love and intimacy, thereby strengthening their relationship as well.
Unfortunately, the significance that foreplay holds for not only the woman's satisfaction, but the relationship in general is often misunderstood, made light of and the butt of many jokes.
Sufficient foreplay is a physiological necessity for the woman's pleasure and her ability to reach climax. To reach optimal arousal she needs extended stimulation. Sufficient foreplay includes at least 15 minutes, but preferably 20 or more.
A lot of women have difficulty achieving orgasm or enjoying sexual pleasure, which sometimes leads to a lack of desire on her part, and many couples are not aware that the only underlying problem is that she's not receiving adequate foreplay.
Mastering a variety of foreplay techniques ensures that your woman will be more aroused, receptive and a more active participant, which can only increase pleasure for both partners.
There can never be too much foreplay. It can only lead to a more satisfying lovemaking adventure and a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
In addition to the physiological aspects, women need to feel cared for and important for lovemaking to be at its best. She needs to be connected emotionally to her lover. This influences how she will respond sexually and how satisfying sex will be for her. Lavishing her with a variety of foreplay techniques ensures these needs will not go unmet.
It's not only the woman that reaps rewards from foreplay techniques. On a biological level foreplay generates lubrication for the woman and erection for the man. The long meandering road of exploring and savoring one another can help significantly with male sexual problems like impotence or premature ejaculation. He may also gain a harder erection, more stamina and more pleasurable lovemaking as well.
When men are younger they often get erect by sight alone, but as they age this may not happen as often or as effectively. Participating in extended foreplay techniques such as caressing, touching and kissing can assist him in achieving erection.
So what are the best foreplay techniques?
The Basics
Well we pretty much all know this includes the basic touching, kissing, holding and caressing and these are very desirable and effective foreplay techniques.
But let's look at how we can improve on each one of these:
Touch and caress all the parts of the body, not just the genitals. Take your time. Outline the shape of her or his body. Touch places you don't usually touch.
The same goes for kissing. Kiss all the parts of the body. Kiss the eyelids. fingers, shoulders, that cute little spot on her back, on her thigh, or ankle, Make it playful as well as sensual.
It's a real turn on for a woman to feel her lovers arms embrace her in a strong and powerful hug. Put your emotions into it. Let her know how you feel about her.
Verbal Foreplay Techniques
This consists of using words to create arousal. Words can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
Try some of these aural ideas:
In addition to kissing, touching and holding you might try paying her a loving compliment, whispering naughty desires in her ear or declaring affectionate feelings.
Say your lovers name as your caressing them. It's very exciting for both male and female to hear their name called out or whispered during intimate moments.
Tell them how much you love, how they feel against your body, how much you enjoy making love with them, how beautiful or attractive they are. How much you enjoy their tasty little muffin.
Call her or him up in the middle of the day and tell them you're thinking of them. Tell them all the naughty things you plan to do to them when you see them.
When choosing your words keep in mind that you should be yourself and be sincere. Use language style and tone that are normally yours. Don't start talking like Shakespeare if that's not you. It won't sound real and personal and therefore won't create the mood you desire. Just be honest and say what you really feel in your own voice.
Behavioral Foreplay Techniques
This consists of behaviors or activities that will spark her fire. How you behave and treat your woman in and out of the bedroom deeply affects her ability to be aroused, her level of desire and her attraction to you.
Here's a few pointers:
A woman is more attracted to a man who really listens to her. So try and make it a point to pay attention to your woman when she's talking. Be interested in her, her life and what's important to her.
Present her with a loving gift such as flowers, a new bedroom toy or lingerie before making sexual advances.
For some women, the quickest way to reach her lustful mind is to help her out around the house. Do the dishes, pick up after yourself, or eliminate the chore that she really despises.
Take her out for a romantic dinner and dancing. Order in her favorite meal and be her waiter. Serve her, feed her, wait on her hand and foot. If you enjoy being a chef, then prepare the meal yourself. Set the mood even more with flowers, champagne and music.
If she's the outdoor type, take her on a sensual, intimate walk. This can be in mid day, under the moonlight or in the rain. Hold her hand. Express your feelings to her. If you like, you can bring along a picnic basket and a blanket.
Sensuous Undressing
Undressing your lover can be one of the most powerful foreplay techniques and yet it is so simple and easy.
Here's how to make it work for you:
Take your time and remove her clothes slowly. Concentrate on one piece at a time.
As her body is exposed, cover the area with tender, gentle kisses before moving onto the next.
Gaze directly into her eyes as you unbutton and unzip.
Encourage her to take your shirt off. Pull her close and press your chest against hers. Caress her back and buttocks.
Extended Foreplay Techniques
Now if you really want to sweep your woman off her feet, you can dazzle her with foreplay that doesn't originate immediately before the lovemaking. Extended foreplay incorporates all the techniques above into one seductive dance.
The key element in extended foreplay is that it builds anticipation and anticipation builds desire and arousal.
Extended foreplay starts out in the morning and lasts all day.
The sequence of events might play out like this:
First thing in the morning you roll over and spoon with your woman without making any sexual advances. You kiss her neck, hug her, tell her you love her and get out of bed.
Then you surprise her by preparing your lover her favorite breakfast or bring her some herbal tea. Present her meal or morning beverage with a big kiss.
Before you leave for the day you write a sweet love note and place it in a special place for her to find later.
Later in the day you call her from work and asks how her day is and tell her you love her. You may also tell her how you can't wait to come home and make wild passionate love to her all night long. If you're feeling especially risque you can tell her specifically how you plan to pleasure her.
Alternatively, later that day you can send her flowers or when you come home from work bring her a beautiful gift.
When you arrive home again greet her at the door with hugs and kisses and a dinner already prepared that you've picked up from her favorite restaurant.
While dining you tend to her with affection and care. You clean up the kitchen and instruct her to relax.
After dinner you caress her feet and then undress her very slow and sensuously.
Draw her a bath, or if you prefer you can shower together. Be it bath or shower, you soap her up and wash her with your own hands. While doing this be sure to tell her how good she feels and how your body is aching for her.
You then place her on the bed and give her a full body massage with lots of kissing, licking and holding.
By this time your woman should be flooded with desire and almost begging for the lovemaking.
To really top it off with a cherry you can then pleasure your woman orally before moving onto your needs and desires.
Now, don't get too stressed out and think this is something you need to engage in every time you want to make love, that's certainly not realistic. Reserve it for occasional times when you want to make her feel real special. This act of love will be greatly appreciated and she will be anxious to give you as much pleasure as she received.
Prolong and Heighten
You can build anticipation and desire even more by extending any of the techniques one step further. Once you have participated in adequate foreplay and both of you can hardly take it anymore, instead of moving on to the lovemaking, engage in another foreplay technique. This will heighten arousal and desire even more and result in a more intense climax for both partners.
It's important for all lovers to keep in mind that there isn't a magic one size fits all foreplay technique. All women are different and have different needs for stimulation and arousal. What works for one may not work for another. Every woman has unique needs according to her preferences. It's essential to get to know your woman and what lights her fire on the deepest level. If you don't know what it is, then ask. If your man is not hitting the right buttons, then let him know. Communication is always an essential factor to making any technique, tip or position achieve the desired outcome. And remember ladies, foreplay can be just as fun and exciting for your man. Don't be shy about using any of the foreplay techniques on him as well.
The savvy lover engages in foreplay not because it is the means to an end, but because they truly delight in giving their woman endless erotic play as much as she enjoys receiving it. Their foreplay techniques generate a passionate more fiery lovemaking adventure for both of them. It promotes intimacy and excitement that prevents relationship erosion and encourages a stronger more fulfilling relationship.
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