How to Finger a Woman - Developing the Magic Touch
By Great Sex Coach Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
There are few things in life more sexy and arousing for a woman than the magic touch of her lover's hands. Just the thought of their fingers brushing against our cheeks, embracing our hand in theirs or roaming the length of our body can send shivers of sexual electricity pulsing through our body. So, by learning how to finger a woman properly, you can take the experience of touch to even greater heights and literally have your woman quivering in your hands.
A lot of men think they have fingering her already mastered, but that is not always the case. The problem is that men often tend to use techniques that are enjoyable to them without asking their woman if it's pleasurable for her and women are often reluctant to tell their man what she desires.
Two Common Mistakes that Men Make when Fingering a Woman
Men often make two common mistakes -- one is thrusting in and out and the other is going straight for the gold.
Most men's first instinct is to thrust the finger and try to simulate intercourse because that's what's most enjoyable for them. You don't want to literally "finger fuck" your woman. Thrusting in and out of the vagina, regardless of whether it is the penis or the hand, is not the most enjoyable part of sex for a woman. Most women can't reach orgasm through thrusting, not only that, the most sensitive and responsive parts of the vagina are outside the vagina, mainly on the clitoris, the lips and the first couple inches of the vaginal opening. Most of your attention when fingering should be given to the clitoris.
Men also tend to get distracted by wanting to see how many fingers they can get inside her. This may be fun to play around with now and then, but it is not going to be what gives her an orgasm or incite much arousal.
Don't go straight for the vagina for two reasons. One, she won't be wet enough yet, and if she's dry, it won't be an enjoyable experience for her, it may actually be painful. Two, it's much more exciting and pleasurable for the woman if you pay attention to other parts of the body first.
Build wetness, excitement and pleasure by caressing her body, kissing and talking sexy before diving in. If she's still not wet by the time you make it between her legs, then stick your finger in your mouth and make it wet with your saliva before fingering her or use lubrication if needed.
Hot Tips and Techniques for How to Finger a Woman
The most effective way to learn how to finger a woman is to ask her to masturbate in front of you several times and learn first hand how to do it. Each woman is unique and will have different needs in regard to pace, pressure, placement, timing etc. However, here are few sure fire tips that most any women will enjoy.
- Tease her and build excitement by brushing gently with your fingertips in the crease where the thigh meets the pelvic area. Run your fingers softly up and down the thigh, through her bush and across the lips.
- Increase the impact of pleasure by kissing her passionately, nibbling and kissing on her neck or ears, whispering how much you love her or how good she feels or licking her nipples while fingering her.
- Give special attention to the clitoris. Pull the hood back of the clitoris, wet the tip of your finger with your saliva. The tip of your middle finger works best. Move your finger in a fast circular motion or back and forth in an up and down position -- not left to right. For some women, direct stimulation of the clitoris under the hood is too intense and may be uncomfortable, if that is the case with your woman, then perform the same motion, but on top of the hood.
The most pleasurable spot of the clitoris is usually directly to the right side of the nub and up a little or directly to the left of the nub and up a little.
- Ask her to guide you with simple phrases like yes, no, to the left, to the right, a little faster, a little slower, a litter harder, a little softer etc.
- Listen to her breathing and the noises she makes. This will tell you how you're doing.
- When you find the pace that's working for her, don't stop. Stay consistent until she climaxes.
- Once she's reached climax, it's quicker the second time around, so if you really want to treat her good, take her to Nirvana again.
- Combine fingering with oral to give her extra delight. Slide a finger just a couple inches inside the vagina and work your fingers back and forth while licking her clitoris.
- Use one finger inside her and one on the clitoris.
- Stimulate the g spot with one finger and the clitoris with the other.
- Clamp her with one hand. Slide a couple fingers inside her and grab the pelvic bone with your thumb, then rub and tell her to grind her hips against your hand.
- Lick her anus or perineum area while fingering her.
- Make sure your finger nails are trimmed and smooth so they don't scratch her
- If you want to give your woman one of the best orgasms she's ever had, then stimulate her clitoris with your mouth and the g spot with your finger. This will help her achieve a mind blowing clitoral/gspot orgasm simultaneously. Knowing how to be a master at oral sex can make any man an exceptional lover, but unfortunately many men do not know how to give their woman oral sex that is deeply satisfying. If you want to learn how to really give your woman mind blowing pleasure that will send her to Jupiter and back, you'll want to take a look at Lick by Lick.
Another great way to learn how to finger a woman is to have her put her hand on yours. If you can come at her clitoris in the exact angle in which she does when she masturbates, then you will "really" have the magic touch. This requires that you come at her from behind. This could be done on the bed or in a chair, where the male sits up and the woman sits in-between his legs so her buttocks are against his penis and her back against his chest. The male reaches around and stimulates her clitoris. She places her hand on his and guides him in the manner in which is pleasurable for her.
Alternatively, another very exciting option to achieve this same goal is the standing position, where she stands in front of him with her back towards him and he pulls her against his chest while reaching around and accessing her vagina and she places her hand on his. She could place one of her feet on a chair or foot stool to give him easier access.
Either of these positions are great for many reasons; it allows her to teach him what she likes, the male can use his other hand to caress other parts of her body. He can also nibble on her neck or ears, nuzzle in her hair and tell her how much he loves her or how much he wants her and she can press her body close against his and feel his excitement throbbing against her buttocks. All of this creates a great deal of intimacy which will increase her pleasure even more and strengthen your physical and emotional bonds.
When and Where to Finger Your Woman
There's more to knowing how to finger a woman besides technique, it's also about timing and place. Another great aspect of fingering is that it can be quick, fun and discreet. You can easily take this kind of play outside the bedroom. It can be used when you are out and about to build anticipation and get her in the mood, so when you finally get home she'll be ready to rock and roll. It feels so naughty that it really gets the motor purring.
- Tease her while in the car, shopping, sitting in the movie theater, under the table at the restaurant, at the lake, in the elevator or anywhere you can get away with it. This is great for building arousal and creating the mood and it let's you have fun together, which increases intimacy.
- Tell her not to wear any panties when you're going out and slip your hand under her skirt for a surprise. Alternatively, if you're a woman reading this page, then don't wear any panties and when you're in the theater or the restaurant take a hold of his hand and slide it under your skirt to give him a surprise.
- Alternatively, if you're really bold and adventurous, you can give her some secret pleasure and take her all the way. Finger her until she climaxes while you're in the theater, the car, the restaurant, the lake etc. She can bite her own finger to squelch her moans of pleasure and orgasm quietly.
- Fingering is a great way to give her a quickie in an unexpected place or even at home. Neither of you have to get undressed. Press her up against the wall and give her a passionate kiss while your hands make their way in-between her legs.
The real beauty of knowing how to finger a woman lies in the fact that it can be used in many different ways. It can be a form of foreplay, a way to build arousal and desire or it can be the main event for the woman. After you have brought her to orgasm with your fingers, she'll be hot, wet and ready for you to take your turn with intercourse. You can now put her in any of your favorite positions and thrust till your hearts content or she can now drop to her knees and give you you're favorite oral delight.
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