If
you haven't done so yet get your Free mini sex guide "25 Tips for Great
Sex"
when you Subscribe to my Free Great Sex Tip of
the Month Ezine
"I
find Cynthia's writings and advice amongst the
best
available
on the market." ~Jay
Sandalwood
The #1 Tip for Great Sex
Sexual Communication
No, the number one great sex tip is not some new wild and
kinky position
or technique, it’s just some good old fashioned simple
communication! Yes, sexual communication.
Unfortunately many couples find it very difficult to communicate with
one
another about their sexual needs or preferences and this can lead to a
lot of dissatisfaction and dysfunction in the relationship.
Lack of communication is a frequent culprit leading to
infidelity as
well. Partners sometimes turn to other relationships to meet
needs
that are not getting met in their current relationship, instead of
realizing
that if only they concentrate on communicating these needs to their
current
partner that they too could learn to satisfy them.
There would be no need or desire for either partner to be
unfaithful
if each partner would simply be honest with each other, communicating
their
needs, desires and preferences. Your wife (partner) can be the
lover
you need if you teach her how to satisfy you, telling her what you like
and need. Your husband (partner) can be the lover you need him to
be if you do the same. If your needs are met in your
relationship,
there is no need or desire for unfaithfulness.
Sexual communication with your lover is probably “the” most
important factor
for not only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship in
general. If you do not communicate with your lover you can’t be
satisfied.
Many people falsely believe that their lover can read their mind or
that
they should instinctively know how to please them. This is a very
destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the relationship as a
whole.
Each one of us is different with unique sexual needs and
desires.
If you're in a new relationship it takes time to learn what each other
like. Your new lover probably has different needs in regard to
what
they like and how they need to be touched than your previous
lover.
If it is a long-term relationship you need to continually explore and
discover
one another’s bodies, needs and desires. Needs may change over
time.
It’s necessary to let your lover know what you need and it’s equally
important
to be interested in what your partner needs.
For a relationship to be successful each partner is
responsible to communicate
their needs to the other and to meeting the needs of the other.
If
you have a partner who is not willing to learn and not interested in
satisfying
you, then you would want to evaluate whether this is a relationship you
should be in. Getting your sexual needs met is just as important
as any other need in the relationship.
Sexual communication requires that you speak openly, directly and honestly. Be specific and
detailed.
Tell your partner where, when and how to touch you. Show them how
much pressure, how much speed and timing that you need. Let them know
what
words you need to hear and when and how to say them. Discuss what
scenarios, techniques and positions work best for you. Share your
fantasies. Let them know when something isn’t working and let
them
know when it is working.
There should also be a healthy balance of give and take in
each partner
and sexual requests should be within reason. No one should have
to
engage in any activity that is degrading, violent or disrespectful.
If sexual communication is a new behavior for you, it may and probably will
feel uncomfortable
at first, but do it anyway! It will get easier with time.
Sharing
yourself in this way will increase intimacy, enhance your sexual
satisfaction
and decrease the risk of unfaithfulness. Your relationship as a
whole
will be happier, more fulfilling and satisfying in every way when you
try
the number one great sex tip.
For more great love making tips like these you may want to take a look at "The Lovemaking Smorgasbord."
| Contact
| About
|Ask The Sex Coach
Copyright 2002-2008
Smoldering
Embers. All rights reserved.
