Oral Sex Techniques to Enchant Your Lover
By Great Sex Coach Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
Becoming competent in a variety of oral sex techniques is an important component of all relationships for both men and women. Satisfying your partner with oral pleasure has become fundamental to lovemaking. It's one of the most intimate and selfless sexual gifts we can give to one another and you'd be hard pressed to find something more enjoyable for either male or female.
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The most outstanding aspects of oral sex are that can be used as foreplay to build arousal and desire or it can be the main event and there are numerous ways to explore and enjoy it.
Cultural and religious values often teach that oral sex is wrong, bad, shameful or sinful to participate in. It is not and we may need to hear this repeatedly to undue the conditioning and allow ourselves to be open to adventure in the oral arena and the enjoy the full range of bliss that can be experienced. These negative messages can be deeply ingrained in our conscious and subconscious minds and inhibit us from enjoying the incredible pleasures oral has to offer, from both giving and receiving.
You can begin the unconditioning by learning and engaging in a variety of oral sex techniques that will bring both you and your lover divine pleasures. Replace those negative messages with mind blowing sensual experiences.
Oral sex is often the woman's preferred type of sex because she's more likely to orgasm in this manner and her orgasms are usually more powerful and intense. A man well skilled in oral sex techniques will certainly make his woman desire him more often and be viewed as an incredible lover. And women don't worry about feeling selfish, because most men enjoy your feminine scent, taste and vulnerability during oral sex as much as you enjoy receiving it.
For men, well everyone knows that his number one past time, if allowed, would be receiving oral sex. What's vital for every woman to know is how important this need really is. It's more than just the physical sensation that he craves, although that is desired as well. Giving your man oral makes him feel important to and accepted by you. If you deny him this basic sexual need he feels rejected and resentful and this puts him at high risk of infidelity. The woman who delights in pleasuring her man orally and excels at a variety of oral sex techniques will be captivating and enchanting to him, which is one of the best ways to encourage fidelity.
So we can clearly see that becoming competent with a variety of oral sex techniques will not only provide both partners with exquisite satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment, but it also strengthens the relationship and offers safeguards from some of the dangers that may lead to a partner being unfaithful.
It goes without saying that good hygiene in the form of a shower or washing prior to oral sex is always called for to ensure the freshest aroma and flavor. Although, sometimes you may want to surprise your lover with some unexpected oral loving and freshening up may not be possible. During these adventures a slightly stronger scent would be completely normal.
Many people get really hung up on the fear of genital odor, which is really counterproductive. Everyone has genital odor. This is normal and natural, not something to worry about. Each person will have a unique smell and taste all of their own. For some people it works like a pheromone and incites arousal and desire. If it's been many hours since you showered then genital odor just like body odor will naturally be stronger. Good genital hygiene DOES NOT consist of using feminine sprays, powders and perfumes etc. These products are actually dangerous to your health. All that is needed is some very basic washing with simple soap and water. An occasional plain water or vinegar douche is also acceptable now and then for a little more freshness. On the other hand, if you develop a very strong (fishy) smell in the genital area then you probably have a common infection and should consult your physician.
As with all techniques, communication between partners is always essential for reaching the maximum potential with your oral sex techniques. Be sure to discuss with each other what you need to make your oral sex the best it can be. If communicating about sexual matters is difficult for you, as it is for many people, you just need to push yourself. Communicating is a skill and the way you learn a new skill is simply by doing it. Like all skills, the more you do it the easier it becomes. You can also guide him or her with your hands or your sounds. You can simply say "Yes that's it, keep your tongue right there" or reach down and guide their head where you need it to be.
Personally, I feel that oral sex techniques that provide equal oral time to each partner separately is superior to the 69 position. By focusing solely on your lover it is more giving, loving and unselfish.
You can satisfy each other better by devoting complete attention to the other and this way the receiving partner can focus completely on their own pleasure, which will enhance their sensations and level of satisfaction. Although, of course there are times when the 69 position can be another great oral adventure to add to your repertoire.
Whether male or female, when giving your lover oral sex, direct your attention completely on them. Make them feel like the center of your universe. Savor them and make them feel special. Allow them to see your passion and desire and delight in satisfying them.