Five Ways to Rekindle Your Sex Life
By Great Sex Coach, Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
In a relationship's early stages, it seems like there's never a shortage of intimacy. Whether it's in between dinner and dessert, on a lazy Sunday morning, or even as soon as you walked in the door after work, there was always time and energy for physical affection. But through the years, as things like kids, a mortgage, and everyday life start to take their toll, all of that unbridled passion can start to fizzle.
But just because the daily grind starts to take a toll doesn't mean you have to settle for a life without romance. With a little effort and the right frame of mind, you can rekindle the sex life that once was. Here are five tips to get you started:
Tantalize the Zones
Sure, you know the basic body parts to explore during sex. But did you know that the back of a woman's neck is a virtual playground of nerve endings? Take some time to discover your partners less obvious erogenous zones and you might just be rewarded handsomely for it. A few gentle kisses and caresses across the neck, back of the knees, collarbone, or any other new body part is a great place to start.
Banish Shop Talk
After couples have been together a while, it can sometimes seem like all you talk about are problems - which bills are late, why your youngest got sent home from preschool today, who left soggy towels on the bathroom floor. That kind of constant nitpicking and arguing can add up to less and less intimacy over the years, a real issue among married and long term relationships. To combat this problem, set aside 20-30 minutes a day when you're not allowed to talk about anything serious. It might seem forced at first, and it probably won't immediately lead to more sexy times, but after a while you'll notice that you feel closer to your significant other. That renewed and relaxed relationship is the building block to rekindle your sex life in no time at all.
Take it Out of the Bedroom
Starting in the same old spot makes it easy to fall into the same old routines. Step outside of your room and take your lovemaking someplace (any place) new. The kitchen. The living room. The backseat of the car in the driveway. On top of the washing machine. A cheap motel room on the edge of town. It doesn't matter where it is, as long as it's new.
Kiss Like New Lovers
A long, slow kiss -- think 10 to 12 seconds -- is a mini seduction. Kiss your partner twice a day, and make sure you put everything into it. Forget a quick morning peck before you both race out the door. Instead, pull your honey close, give them a tight squeeze, and look directly into their eyes before locking lips. This kind of smoldering smooch will give them something to think about (and look forward too) all day long.
Lavish on the Praise
Far too many people in a relationship assume their partner knows that they still find them sexy and attractive. Make sure your lover knows how beautiful/handsome/sexy/amazing you think they are. Keep in mind that genuine compliments are always the best received. Choose your favorite part of your lover's body, and let them know exactly why it drives you wild. And once you do have a little horizontal time, make sure you tell them why you loved it, and what, exactly, you enjoyed the most.
A loss of electricity between the sheets is a natural side-effect of a long-term, committed relationship, but with a little extra work, you can rekindle the passion you once shared and have the sex life you desire.