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Top
Ten Tips for Phenomenal Sex
1. Communicate
Communication with your lover is “the” most important factor
for not
only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship in
general.
If you do not communicate with your partner you can’t be
satisfied.
Many people falsely believe that their lover can read their mind or
that
they should instinctively know how to please them. This is a very
destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the relationship as a
whole. Speak openly, directly and honestly. Be specific.
Tell
your partner where, when and how to touch you. Describe how much
pressure, how much speed and the timing you need. Tell them what,
when and how to say what you need to hear etc. Let them know when
it feels good and when it doesn't. Good communication involves
the
expression of feelings. Discuss your feelings, needs, desires,
fears,
embarrassments, expectations in and out of the bedroom in regard
to all aspects of the relationship. Good communication will increase
intimacy
and greater intimacy will lead to greater sex.
2. Be an Unselfish Lover
Be a selfless lover (meaning your goal is your pure desire
to give your
partner the pleasure they desire.) Don't take each other for
granted,
which is easy to do if you have been together for a while and will kill
your passion. Don’t pleasure your lover according to what feels good
for
you, give them what you know they enjoy. Always tend to your
partners
needs as well as your own and you will be considered a good lover.
Spend
one lovemaking session devoted entirely to your lover. Make them
feel special and cherished. Express your love and appreciation
freely
and frequently outside of the bedroom as well as inside the
bedroom.
Don't assume your lover knows how you feel. It needs to be
verbalized.
Say I love you or you are so beautiful, or you feel so good.
Everyone
wants to feel loved, valued and appreciated. Remember that what occurs
outside the bedroom greatly impacts what will occur in the bed.
3. Seek Variety
As the saying goes “Variety is the spice of Life”, and
boredom
is one of the main causes of unfaithfulness. If you keep a lot of
variety
in your positions and activities, you will never be bored. There
are numerous books and videos that can give you new suggestions or be
creative
and use your imagination. Try having sex in different places of
the
house or in a bathroom at the gas station, restaurant or some other
place
that is very exciting for you where you won’t get caught. Take a shower
with your lover and use your hands as the washroom. Soap them up
and explore every inch, nook and cranny of their body. Savor them as if
they were a fine a wine. This will elicit erotic, sensual, spiritual
and
physical energy in both of you and will also serve as a tool to help
you
learn invaluable information about one another’s bodies. Get naked
outside
and make wild passionate love. I don’t believe there is anything more
freeing,
arousing and spiritual than being naked outside and to make love with
the
feel of the elements upon your body. It gets you in touch with the
primal
basics and elicits uninhibited passions. Do things that are unique for
you as a couple and you can keep the variety and spice while remaining
a monogamous couple. Change your routine.
4. Be Spontaneous and Adventurous
Surprise your lover with something unusual and kinky.
Yes
Kinky!
Be outrageous and adventurous. Show up at their work for lunch
naked
under your coat and flash them. Send them an invitation to a
hotel
for a hot night of sex. Role play one of your fantasies.
Tell
them you must have them at some unusual spot and take them
passionately.
Women, try not wearing your panties and bra and go through your daily
activities.
Not having a bra and panties on is very stimulating and will make you
feel
very sexy and erotic. Tell your partner that you aren't wearing
any
and you will drive them absolutely wild with the thought of it.
5. Be Present in the Here and Now.
Fully experience each touch, sensation, smell, movement,
sound and
taste while you are making love. Don’t allow your mind to slip
into
thoughts about work, children or fixing dinner etc. Stay
completely
focused on your partner and your experience. Allow yourself to
become
totally immersed in the pleasurable sensations you are giving and
receiving.
6. Know Your Own Body and Desires
If you don't know what excites you and pleases you, then
your lover
can't either. Explore your own body and discover what you like
and
don’t like. Find out what arouses you and makes you roar.
Make
love with yourself. You can really drive your lover wild by
allowing
them to watch you pleasure yourself.
7. Make Sex a Priority
Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives and
sex is
a crucial component of your intimate relationship. Make time for
lovemaking. Don't push it off. It should be one of
the
biggest priorities in your life. When sex is pushed aside desire
and passion will dwindle. The more you engage in sex the more
your
desire will grow.
8. Pursue Your Lover with Unbridled Passion
It is a great aphrodisiac for both female and male to see
and feel
desire and passion in their lover's eyes and actions. Let your
lover
know how deeply you want them. Tear their clothes off and take
them
passionately. Let them hear you delight in them. When making
love,
tell them how much you enjoy their body or how good they feel to
you.
Let
loose with total abandon.
9. Know Your Partner’s Hot Zones
Taking the time to learn what makes your lovers motor run is
one of
the most important ingredients for great sex. You can never know
your lover too much. Pay attention to when and what your lover responds
to and learn what they need. Store it in your mind and be sure to use
it
frequently. When your lover is pleasured and satisfied then they want
to
reciprocate and please you even more, and thus sexual satisfaction is
heightened
for both partners. When you know how to please your lover, their desire
for you increases and they will want sex more often. Knowing your
partner
and making a point to please them is an act of love; it shows them they
are important to you and that you care about their needs. You
should
know your lovers love buttons like the back of your hand.
10. Be an Oral Connoisseur
Being a skilled oral lover is a very important component of
a couple’s
sexual relationship for both the male and the female. There are
few
things more pleasurable for either man or woman than to be savored,
devoured
and satisfied orally by their lover. It is one of the most
intimate
gifts we can give one another. Pleasuring your lover orally has become
an integral part of lovemaking. One of the great aspects of oral
sex is that it can be a part of foreplay or the main course and there
are
so many ways to explore it. Giving oral pleasure to your lover is an
ultimate
act of unselfishness, giving, caring and loving.
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